i taught swim lessons and preschool, do y’all wanna hear the most ridiculous white kid names i’ve ever seen?
- i’ve met at least a dozen children named some form of “jackson” but the best ones were “jaxon” and “jakson”
- a parent who i really liked named her son “jaycob” because she was worried people wouldn’t pronounce it correctly. when someone accidentally spelled it “jacob” she would loudly and obnoxiously ask “WHO’S JAH-KOBE?”
- two siblings named “thor” and “tiara”
- i once had a classroom with four girls named “brooklyn”
- if you sent me a list of popular boy names, i could guarantee i’ve met every single one of them
- twin girls named paisley and brinley
- a girl named reader
- a boy named rocko
- keighleey
- kayde
- kolten
- if it can start with a “k” instead of a “c” i have met that child
- brittalynn
- i taught a swim class with three girls named “london” but only one of them was spelled “lundon” and i know my boss did that to me on purpose
- a couple named all their kids after places in arizona: tatum, payson, and hayden
- and speaking of hayden, i’ve seen: haydon, heighden, and heydon
- according to some white people, there are sixteen different ways to spell mckenzie
- lakelyn, blakelynn
this is white culture
it’s her…. reader…… those self inserts are about her now….