ok but in DnD as far as I can tell almost everyone outlives humans by a ridiculous amount – elves, dwarves, gnomes, and okay I confess my exposure to DnD is just TAZ so I’ve run out of races, but still. doesn’t this mean that to most races, humans seem like terrifyingly precocious children? especially if you haven’t met that many – it’s one thing to know that humans are considered adults by their twenties, it’s another thing to meet one who owns a business and has kids of their own, and then find out they’re less than half the age of your dumb baby brother who still eats rocks.
Angus, a ten-year-old child: “I am employed by the police to solve murders, because of the excellent reputation I have established for myself over many cases. I am traveling alone, unsupervised, searching for a killer on my own, because I am competent enough to do so.”
Taako, a three-hundred-year-old college-age kid: “sounds legit.”
Magnus: “Ok all jokes aside you guys realize this kid is way too young to be alone like this right? I mean yes, he’s more competent than the three of us put together, but he’s also a child, he should have someone looking out for him.”
Merle: “What are you talking about, Maggie? He’s barely a decade younger than you, what’s the issue?”
Taako: “No Merle he’s right, I mean we’re babysitting Magnus but who’s babysitting McDjango over here?”
Magnus: “I am a thirty-three-year-old man!”
Merle: “We know honey, we know.”
Also, dwarves only live about half as long as elves, so Magnus may be a grown adult, but Merle and Taako are probably within a few decades of each other in age and Taako’s probably mortified about it.
Merle, early on: “Hey, it’s my birthday tomorrow!”
Taako, painting his nails: “What are you, seven fifty? Eight hundred?”
Merle, mortally offended: “I’m only two hundred and thirty-five, what the hell?”
Taako, horrified: “I’M TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR, WHAT THE HELL”
Magnus: “And I’m thirty-three, were we going to get dinner or what, Granddads?”
Taako: “BE SILENT, DEMON CHILD”
On the other hand, teenage Orcs are like 10-13 years old, so
Magnus: “No but really he’s only ten where are his parents?”
Killian, who is fifteen years old: “Not really following you on that one, it seems pretty legit to me”
Interesting factoid, Dragonborn and Orcs have almost the same age of maturity
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