i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave”
at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it
I’ve been stung by a carpenter bee. They’re usually pretty chill.
And dirt daubers are bros.
It’s true you can pet Bumblebees
I’ve been mercilessly killing paper wasps and now I feel terrible 😭
I thought they were like yellow jackets!!! I wanna apologize to all the innocent paper wasps I’ve crushed!!!
yeah then there’s the tarantula hawk, which is a type of spider wasp, because of course that’s a thing.
so yanno. that’s pleasant.
a dude researching them described the pain as “…immediate, excruciating, unrelenting pain that simply shuts down one’s ability to do anything, except scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations.”
Why is it that in almost every D&D group I’m in, SOMEONE wants to have a joke character. And no, I don’t mean like a choatic neutral bard or something, I mean a goddamn chicken. You wanna be a fucking chicken??? A CHICKEN???
I SPENT SO MANY HOURS CRAFTING HOMEBREW RACES, AND CLASSES AND SHIT AND YOU WANNA BE A NORMAL FUCKING CHICKEN WITH A BIG SWORD??? REALLY???? REALLLLYYYY????
So no, I don’t really mind bards.
Me talking to new player: So what race and class did you decide?
Him: Umm a rouge and uuuuuh bird person.
Me: Oh an Aarakocra?
Him: A what? No, like I’m still small but … like a bird furry.
Me: A small … bird furry
Him: Yeah like a coupla inches tall … but my knives are normal size.
Everything. Block any bills they don’t like, make the budget they want, control every committee, subpoena evidence against Trump, call hearings, depose witnesses. They can’t pass their own legislation because they don’t have the Senate or a veto-proof House majority, but other than that, the sky’s the limit.
funeral-biscuit 